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Mate Fleet Admiral with Nudge and name the foal Fleet Enema. Mate Dabney Carr with Mr. Freeze and name the foal Dabney Coldman. Mate Buff with Wild Colony and name the foal Nudist Colony. Mate Missionary to Over the Top and name the foal Man on Top.
This Week's Contest was proposed, as it is every year, by Mike "Mikey the Tout" Hammer of Washington, who wins a trophy depicting a small but dignified replica of a horse's arse. The contest is to take the names of this year's Triple Crown nominees, mate any two of them, and propose a name for their foal. The list is below. You must adhere to the single rule of horse naming: The foal's name must be contained within 18 characters, including spaces. As always, ignore the gender of the horses if you happen to know them. First-prize winner receives a pair of genuine size 5 lace panties that play "You Are My Sunshine." They are worth $25. First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to The Style Invitational, Week 268, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to 202-334-4312 or submit them via Internet to this address: losers@washpost.com. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before Monday, May 11. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Today's Number No One Calls was written by Jennifer Hart of Arlington. Employees of The Washington Post, and members of their immediate families, are not eligible for prizes. First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to The Style Invitational, Week 268, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, fax them to 202-334-4312 or submit them via Internet to this address: losers@washpost.com. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before Monday, May 11. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Today's Number No One Calls was written by Jennifer Hart of Arlington. Employees of The Washington Post, and members of their immediate families, are not eligible for prizes.
Report from Week 265,
Fourth Runner-Up -- The Slipscoop:
Third Runner up -- Rogocaine:
Second Runner up -- Gromit:
First Runner-Up -- The F'c'w'le'ha:
And the winner of the Chinese Propaganda Record -- AK-486:
The Sigmoidoseat--
The Sport-futility vehicle--
The Bordullo--
The Escaladder--
The Buzzclock--
The Pink--
The Bassipult--
The Heliblower--
The Remoilet--
Circlepost--
Da Devil; Dabney Carr; Dance Brightly; Daniel My Brother; Danielle's Gray; Danzigoer; Dawn Exodus; Dawson's Legacy; Del Mar Dancer; Demon's Law; Deputy Command; Deputy Diamond; Detective; Devilish Dan; Diamond; Diamond Studs; Dice Dancer; Disruptive; Dixie Dot Com; Dixie Dynamo; Doc Martin; Double Guarantee; Draw Again; Dublin Gene; E Z Line; Early Warning; East of Easy; Eetoo; El Estelar; Erasmus Hall; Errant Escort; Event of the Year; Excellent Luck; Expectations; Expressionist; FJ's Pace; Fallen Halo; Famed Tap; Fargo; Fat Lady's Maestro; Favorite Trick; Fight for M'Lady; Fire and Rain; Fire in the Hole; Firing Battery; First Step; Fleet Admiral; Full Brush; Futuristic; Gadilimi; Gambino; Giuseppi's Dream; Go Not Whoa; Gold Clearance; Golden Missile; Gonewithoutatrace; Good and Tough; Grand Slam; Great Expedition; Groovin; Guapo; Gunny Sarge. Haillye's Prince; Halo Flash; Halory Hunter; Halos and Horns; Hanuman Highway; Heart Surgeon; Hefferius; Here Comes Charlie; Hez a Keeper; Hibernian Rhapsody; Highland Friend; Highland Gold; Historic; Hitech; Holy Capote; Hot Wire; Hunter's Glory; I'll Play These; Iamsofortunate; Ian's Thunder; If Not You Who; Impressionist; Indian Charlie; Indy Talent; Indy's Special; Internet Blackout; Intimidate; Invest West; Jerash; Jerricho Shout; Jess M; Jigadee; Jigwater; Jody's Playmate; Joe's Field; Just Call Me Girl; Just a Devil; Just a Hint; Justamatteroftime; Keene Dancer; Kim's Testamony; Known Space; Kona Wind. La Jolla Slew; Ladies Din; Lady's Choice; Late Edition; Laydown; Leave a Legacy; Lexicon; Lightin' Gulch; Lil's Lad; Limit Out; Liquid Gold; Long Point; Lord Hansel; Lord Smith; Love Lock; Macho Amigo; Magest; Magic Cat; Magical; Make No Mistake; Malaka Head; Man Oh Man; Maneuvered; Manly Valentine; Mantles Star; Mark the Moment; Master O Foxhounds; Mellow Roll; Metatonia; Mickel the Mouse; Middlesex Drive; Missionary; Mister Business; Mojave Wind; Moonlight Meeting; Mount Defiance; Mountain Metal; Mr. Dixie; Mr. Fortune; Mr. Freeze; Mr. Saint; Mus Ad; Myfavorite Place. Natalis; Nationalore; Nite Dreamer; Northern Devil; Not Tricky; Nudge; Old Topper; Old Trieste; Olympus; One Bold Stroke; One Niner Tango; One Way Love; Opening Word; Ore Deal; Ormelie; Orville n Wilbur's; Outer Banks; Over the Top; P Day; Parade Ground; Pasay; Pine Harbor; Pirate Stronghold; Pleasant Breeze; Pleasant Drive; Polished Brass; Poolman; Power Train; Power and Peace; Prairie Storm; Prime Meridian; Prince Amilius; Princely Paul; Proper Performer; Proper Ridge; Prosperous Bid; Pulzarr; Puppet Master. Quake; Raffie's Majesty; Ragged Kingdom; Real Quiet; Recommended List; Red Reef; Red Wraith; Regal Zipper; Regent's Marque; Reraise; Rio Oro; Risky Buy; Road to Attack; Robinwould; Rock and Roll; Rubiyat; Run Runner. Sabre Mountain; Saint Gabriel; Salt Please; Sand Ridge; Saratoga Springs; Satanta; Savan; Score Early; Sea Scrolls; Sea of Secrets; Search Me; Seattle Lane; Secret Firm; Shalford's Honour; Shamrock City; Sheltowee Blues; Shooting Iron; Shot of Gold; Shrewd; Silver Chest; Silver Fax; Silver Launch; Silver Swinger; Silver's Prospect; Sir Caelan; Sir Jordan; Sir Mark; Skeaping; Sky Raven; Slaytheodds; Slew O'Quoit; Slick Report; Smolderin Heart; Snowbound; Soldieroffortune; Solid Wood; Sorceror; Soul Warrior; Souvenir Copy; Spartan Cat; Special Nash; Spring Clearance; Squall Valley; St. Michael; Star of Broadway; Stockwatch; Storm Flash; Storm Magest; Straithome; Stratus; Stritzel; Summer Squire; Sun Sail; Super Jet; Sutter; Swear by Dixie; Sweet Lord; Sweetsouthernsaint; Swig; Sydney Harbour. Tahoe Prospector; Teddy Boy; Temple Owl; Tenbyssimo; Tex Villa; The Gold Key; Thomas Jo; Thunderball; Tiger Shoals; Time Limit; Titus; Tomorrows Cat; Top Cop; Tramp Harbor; Transur; Treasury; Tricky Mizwaki; Tropic Lightning; Truluck; Turkish Prize; Twin Halo; Two O'Clock Rock; Undaunted Mettle; Unloosened; Unreal Love; Untold Story; Urgent Quest; Vergennes; Vernon Invader; Victory Express; Victory Gallop; Vincent Vega; Visit the Circle; Voyamerican; Wadi; Wallace; Wasatch; Watch the Bird; Well Noted; Well Stated; West Forty; Whataflashyactor; Whist; Wild Brain; Wild Colony; Wild Delight; Wild French Nights; Wild Jazz; Wild Memory; Wind Quest; Wiston Cheese; With Anticipation; Yarrow Brae; Yukon Pete; Zippy Zeal; Zonker.
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